In this, the fourth article in the series, we look at self-control and the challenges of consistently exercising self-control. If you would like to catch up on the previous articles in this series, follow this link.
A leader is a dealer in self-control. No matter how tough things get, he cannot let everyone know how stressed he is or how worn down he feels at the relentless pressure and criticism. It is okay to vent with a trusted colleague - or, better still, an outside coach – but it is not okay to vent outside of this circle of trust. In front of anyone else, he puts his best face forward and focuses on the needs of the team. They cannot see the leader having a meltdown! This leader knows that just because a thought passes through his mind, it should not necessarily pass through his lips. That’s a tough ask but it is important. If the team sees you caving in, they will inevitably follow.
Who is your go-to person when things get tough? Is this person sufficiently removed from the team or personally tough enough to be able to be your person without “leaking”? If not, you are not being fair to them, your team or yourself. Find a go-to person who can fulfil this role.
What challenges have you been keeping to yourself in the belief that you just need to tough it out? This is not good for you or your team. Sometimes we are so close to our challenges that it is difficult to see the wood for the trees. Find yourself a coach who can help you to think things through and offer you another set of eyes and another perspective.
How are you doing with implementing the practical exercises and tips that I’ve included in the previous article? What results are you seeing, either in your personal leadership or in your team? Please email me with your comments or any queries.
A leader is a dealer in self-control. No matter how tough things get, he cannot let everyone know how stressed he is or how worn down he feels at the relentless pressure and criticism. It is okay to vent with a trusted colleague - or, better still, an outside coach – but it is not okay to vent outside of this circle of trust. In front of anyone else, he puts his best face forward and focuses on the needs of the team. They cannot see the leader having a meltdown! This leader knows that just because a thought passes through his mind, it should not necessarily pass through his lips. That’s a tough ask but it is important. If the team sees you caving in, they will inevitably follow.
Who is your go-to person when things get tough? Is this person sufficiently removed from the team or personally tough enough to be able to be your person without “leaking”? If not, you are not being fair to them, your team or yourself. Find a go-to person who can fulfil this role.
What challenges have you been keeping to yourself in the belief that you just need to tough it out? This is not good for you or your team. Sometimes we are so close to our challenges that it is difficult to see the wood for the trees. Find yourself a coach who can help you to think things through and offer you another set of eyes and another perspective.
How are you doing with implementing the practical exercises and tips that I’ve included in the previous article? What results are you seeing, either in your personal leadership or in your team? Please email me with your comments or any queries.
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