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Inspiring Others requires Empathy

8/18/2021

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Charisma or Caring
The ability to inspire others is a key leadership skill, and I am asked by many clients to coach them to be more inspiring. They think it is to do with being charismatic. I don't. I think inspiring leaders genuinely care about their people - they care enough to take the time to get to know and understand what each person is inspired by. If you want to be an inspiring leader, you need to care. It's just not negotiable. Different people are inspired by different things, and you can't take a one size fits all approach - and you definitely shouldn't assume that what inspires you will inspire them.

Empathy is Not Intuition
We often believe that empathy requires intuition - that you must put yourself in someone else's shoes in order to see things from their point of view. I think that requires you to be a mind reader. The easiest and most effective way to develop your ability to see things from another's viewpoint is to ASK them. If you want to know what matters to other people, just ask - and pay attention to the answers.

Authentic Conversations are Key
As you get to know the members of your team on an individual basis, you will have many conversations with them. It is in the context of these conversations that you will get to know what inspires each of them. Generally you will hear them talk about things that matter to them - personal or family goals that they often talk about. Do they talk about how important it is to them to send their children to good schools? Do they talk about the home they dream of building? Do they speak about a course of study that they are longing to follow? If they do talk about these things, listen and pay attention. Ask them questions to ascertain just how important they are and what else they are inspired by.

What about the Quiet People?
Some people are more inclined to keep these thoughts to themselves - for whatever reason. Perhaps they are just more private; perhaps they don't think anyone really cares; perhaps they just haven't allowed themselves to dream. Here is an opportunity to show an interest in them. Ask about what inspires them. Ask what they are trying to achieve in life. Ask who they admire and why - and see how that knowledge can be more inspiring. Perhaps by asking questions you help them to discover what inspires them - that's a real gift because now they can dream!

Everyone is Different
Sincere questions and non-judgement are important here. Everyone is different. You may be surprised what inspires others - especially if that doesn't inspire you! It is what it is for each different person - and differences are fine. What you want to know is what inspires them. It does not need to be what inspires you.

Stay Connected and Celebrate Success
This means you stay interested in their sources of inspiration. What progress are they making? What successes are they experiencing? And when they experience setbacks, help them to use these as learning opportunities so that they can keep moving forward. Most importantly, celebrate their successes and validate the progress that they make. This is far more valuable and inspiring than relying on your scintillating personality!

Contact me
If you are a leader/manager and this topic is something you would like to develop in yourself, email me at [email protected] and let's discuss your coaching programme.
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Inspiring Others: Start with Yourself

8/10/2021

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I’m going to be writing and speaking about inspiring others over the next little while. I have an abiding interest in what causes people to be inspired by and follow leaders. I am most impressed when that is based on a solid value system, of course. We are surrounded by “leaders” who seem to grab the attention of large numbers of people and influence them in all sorts of destructive ways – especially politicians. While their tactics might interesting and worth studying, I find them distasteful because they are manipulative and appeal to baser human characteristics.

I am really interested in helping leaders with positive value systems to be inspiring. I believe that is something worth understanding and learning.

I was watching “Chasing the Sun” this weekend – the documentary about the Springbok rugby team’s journey from being a pretty pathetic team in 2016 to becoming World Cup Champions in 2019. I was struck by how many times the coach, Rassie Erasmus, said in his own inimitable way that the players must forget about inspiring the nation – just do your flippin’ job. You can’t worry about inspiring others until you are winning matches!

The very same is true in the world of work. You may have a job title that positions you as a leader, but you can’t worry about inspiring others until you yourself are doing a great job. There are some keys to doing a great job, though, so perhaps there is something here that will give you a nudge.

1. Show some passion. No matter your circumstances or the nature of your job, find something about it that you love – something that gets you inspired and excited. Every job has its drudgery and some jobs might even be mostly drudgery – but there must be something that puts a smile on your face. Perhaps it is the opportunity to make a difference in some way; perhaps it is working with some pretty special people; or it is the opportunity to solve new problems every day. Not only do you need to find something you love about your job – you also need to SHOW it! Tell your face! Be cheerful and upbeat! Smile a lot and make others smile! Show some enthusiasm.
2. Pursue goals that matter. Set goals that mean something to you – their achievement must matter to you. You probably have some fairly predictable KPIs that may have been set for you. Their achievement may be exciting to you in and of themselves – but sometimes they are pretty standard in terms of targets and deliverables. So set for yourself some goals that really excite you – something that will make a difference to the way you do business; something that will change the lives of your colleagues or customers; something that contributes to something greater than yourself. These are the goals that get your pulse racing – where their achievement really matters. Let people know what your goals are – don’t keep them a secret. By making your goals known to others you will:
- Have their support and ideas;
- Encourage them to also aim high;
- Keep yourself accountable;
- Set a great example.
3. Share your progress. Be open about your progress against your goals. Just as you will give your team feedback on how they are doing against their goals and targets, you should make your own progress visible. This is quite an exercise in vulnerability – after all you are completely exposed – and vulnerability makes a big difference to the levels of trust.
4. Set the example. Don’t ask your team to do that which you are not prepared to do yourself. This does not mean that you need to be able to do everyone else’s job. That becomes less and less doable as you rise through the ranks. It does mean that if you need your team to work long hours, then you need to do so too. If you need them to take on additional work because someone is sick or on leave, then what can you also pick up?
5. “Be impeccable with your word”. This is the first of “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz. This means that you say exactly what you mean; that you do not use your words to denigrate yourself or others; that you are kind with your words; and that you keep your word. A commitment is a commitment – don’t be that manager who commits to time with a team member and then cancels last minute! You know how that feels. So don’t be that person.
6. Be kind. Help when asked to. Offer help when you see a team member struggling. Make sure your team members feel supported.

Before you can even think about how to inspire others to dig deep and live into their potential, you need to be a great example of exactly what you are looking for in your people. Being inspiring does not require you to be charismatic – but you can’t be dour and lacklustre yourself. You don’t have to be charismatic in order to be cheerful, hardworking, deliver great results, live with integrity and be kind. But these characteristics are incredibly attractive – and that is more valuable than any charisma could be.

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What you neglect will come back and bite you!

3/10/2021

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In my social media posts this March, I am thinking about the theme of “What Goes Around Comes Around”, and it is not really about karma. It is more about this: “Life will let you get away with something for a while, but sooner or later, you will pay the price. Everything you do in life causes the effects that you experience. When you get the bill, be prepared to pay.” Iyanla Vanzant.

This is as true of the things we do as it is of the things we neglect. There are too many things we take for granted:
  • When we’re young we take for granted that our bodies are strong and will always be so;
  • We get so comfortable in a relationship with a partner or spouse that we neglect to give it specific attention;
  • We take it for granted that our team members will pick up the slack when team members or the team’s leader are laid low by a virus or an accident, or go on leave;
  • We neglect to stay sharp in our field of expertise because, after all, we are the experts;
  • We eat junk and drink too much despite the fact that we don’t feel too sharp in the mornings;
  • We turn the radio up to drown the sound of that strange whine in the engine;
  • We allow ourselves to slip (back) into bad work habits, not planning the day or the week, reacting as things happen, taking unscheduled interruptions and hopping between multiple tasks when we know that this just doesn’t work.
Neglecting these things always demands that you pay a price.

Your body will let you down when you most need to be strong. When a serious operation or illness is going to demand great strength from you in order to recover, it is too late.

How many of you have had the experience of coasting along doing what you do best, only to realise one day that what you do best is no longer what your clients actually want or need? Or that the world works differently and needs you to work differently too? I think we all had that experience last year. I had to learn to do a lot of things differently in an online world when I had previously been able to rely on my in-person presence, charm and flair for flying by the seat of my pants!

Too much junk food and booze will affect your mental sharpness! It will also exact a physical toll that you will pay sooner or later.

Slipping into bad work habits has all sorts of consequences:
  • You feel as if you never have enough time;
  • Your work days are unsatisfying;
  • You neglect some team members in favour of others, or neglect them all equally;
  • You always have multiple uncompleted tasks on your desks;
  • You feel stressed, lose your temper and eat badly;
  • You neglect yourself and your personal relationships.

Sooner or later people who feel neglected (and perhaps even abused) will turn away – and they may do so when you need them most.

Team members who are taken for granted, who don’t get a thank you when they have dug you out of a hole AGAIN, will go somewhere else, or just disengage and show up in body but not in soul.

It was Stephen Covey who taught me that relationships are like a bank account – you need to make regular deposits because one day you will need to make a withdrawal. When you do make a withdrawal, will you go into overdraft or will the relationship be able to afford it?

I encourage you to think about what you may have been neglecting:
  • Who has not had the time and attention they need and deserve?
  • What bad habits have you allowed to develop?
  • How have you neglected your physical health?
  • How have you neglected your mental health?
  • What areas of learning do you keep meaning to get to sometime?
  • How have you neglected your network?

If you end up with the proverbial shopping list, then that is a wakeup call in itself. However, I don’t recommend that you try and pick off your shopping list all in one go. Rather review your list and decide which are your priorities because their neglect has had (or will soon have) a negative impact on your values and your quality of life. Then make some specific decisions about what you will do.
  • When will you get back to the gym?
  • When and how will you relax and unwind for an hour or so?
  • How will you get time with those key people into your schedule?
  • How will you show your appreciation for the people who are always there to back you in life and in work?
  • When will you spend time reading every day?

Of course, all of these require that you exercise some discipline in your work habits and routines – or how on earth will you fit them in? This is an opportunity to get off the treadmill of life and work, take stock and remind yourself of what needs to be nurtured and cared for in your long-term interests.
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Oh! And get the car serviced!
 
 
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Month-end Madness

2/24/2021

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Every month-end in nearly every department in every organisation I have worked in and across industries you will witness what I call "Month-end Madness".

My observation is that this is usually at least in part because we have allowed bad habits to prevail and now tell ourselves that this is just how it is in our industry. I don't think you should just accept this as normal. I know that some clients only want to be invoiced at month end, but this is not an overwhelming majority by any means.
During this last week of the month, I invite you to go through it mindfully.
  • Pay attention to your activities.
  • Ask yourself which of these activities could have been done earlier in the month.
  • Entertain the idea of weekly "mini-month-ends".
  • Decide what you wish to do differently in your business next month.

Once your month-end madness is done, meet with your team and plan for next month:
  • Decide what you will do earlier in the month
  • Decide what you will do at least weekly
  • Try it out once, review and make changes to your plans, and then try it out again.

My bet is that you can definitely have greater month-end sanity - which is positive for everyone. It reduces stress and contributes to the resilience of the team. After all, the more organised and disciplined your team, the greater its resilience!

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Having a Difficult Conversation - A Process

11/26/2020

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I've been banging on about issues that are often handled via email but which should be handled in a conversation. Here is another example:

Dear So-and-So
You have arrived late for work 3 times in the last 2 weeks. May I remind you etc.

You know where this is going. Whether it is timekeeping, a pattern of defensiveness that is not helpful, withholding crucial information from colleagues or any other unhelpful behaviour, you should address this in a structured conversation.

Here is one of my preferred structures, which I often share with clients:
  • Step 1: Describe what you have observed and why it concerns you.
  • Step 2: Ask your colleague to help you understand what is happening.
  • Step 3: Articulate how important it is for this thing to change and why, and ask your colleague if they are prepared to work with you on this.
  • Step 4: Ask your colleague for ideas that might address the issue. Offer your own.
  • Step 5: Agree on what each of you will do and by when. (Each of you should articulate what you personally will do – avoid making the mistake of summarising your colleague's actions for them).
  • Step 6: Agree on a follow-up date

Try this. Let me know how it works.
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Care and Kindness at Work - It Makes Good Business Sense

11/11/2020

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It is my very firm belief that we lead one conversation at a time – because leadership is relational. Everything we do in the working environment is with or through people – so via our relationships - and relationships are built one conversation at a time There are dozens of occasions every day that are an opportunity to exercise leadership – and they are often squandered by sending an email!
So often I find myself astounded at the mindless way in which many people work. They talk about the frustrations that they have with their team members’ lack of progress or disappointing execution despite the fact that they have emailed them numerous times! I am always concerned when I hear about complex work being delegated by email, so my standard question is “Where are these team members located?” Of course, I’m a bit of a smartass, so I know the answer to this question – “Oh, in the open plan outside my office.”

That is when silence is my best friend.
​
Let’s be clear. We are all vulnerable to working on autopilot. We receive an email about some important initiative, and we delegate this on by email. In fact, how much of our day do we spend reading and responding to emails? There is just too much that is done by email that really should be done via the medium of conversation.
If you are frustrated by team members who send emails to each other from adjoining desks, then you have the opportunity to model the way in terms of how you exercise leadership and build relationships yourself. 
How many times a day do you leave your desk just in order to check in with the people around you? How many times a day do you pick up the phone to team members working remotely from you just to see how it's going? Are you too busy for this? If you are too busy to care, then you will find that your leadership team is probably also too busy to care. And then the whole organisation is too busy to care. That's how toxic cultures are created - not through malice, but through lack of care.
But let's not see this as a purely altruistic thing. Leaders connect with their people and teams as much for themselves as they do for other people! According to Steve Siegle, quoted in an article on the Mayo Clinic Health System "Being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine, which are neurotransmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being, and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your body's natural pain killer, also can be released." Serotonin impacts on our ability to focus, and focus is critical to the quality of our work - so caring and kindness boost output! It's in the interests of organisational performance to create a culture of care and kindness - it just makes good business sense.

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​Involving the Team in Designing a Scoreboard – It’s Always About Process

11/5/2020

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This article is a follow-on to my previous article: http://www.leadershipsolutions.co.za/articles/how-to-decide-what-to-track-and-monitor-focus-on-the-field-of-play, which you should read before this one.
​

Too often, with my coaching clients, we have to address the problem that the team is resistant to the way their activities are measured. Perhaps they see their weekly activity report as admin – so they “tick the boxes”, telling their managers what they think they want to hear (or, in this case, read). Perhaps they just don’t agree with it, so they don’t bother to do it at all – or they have to be nagged 90 times before they do it. And, again, they do a shoddy job. They may or may not also tell you that they find it a waste of time. Or they may say nothing, and just give you the teenage eye roll!
The reasons for the resistance are some combination of:
  • They don’t get it – meaning they don’t see these measures as important drivers of their results;
  • They don’t see the value and they treat the process as admin;
  • They don’t like the way the measures are recorded or reflected;
  • They see it as micromanaging (which most people resist).

What you really want is the following:
  • The team absolutely agrees that these measures represent their 20 mile march – they definitely drive achievement against the KPIs;
  • The team has participated in setting the targets (or the target ranges for these measures);
  • The team has been involved in designing the scoreboard – this is the document on which their performance (collective and individual) is reflected;
  • They find the process of recording and reflecting on their team and individual performance motivating;
  • They love the way the scoreboard looks and what it tells them and they get excited about reviewing their progress.

Agreeing on What to Watch
You will need to have one or more discussions in your team with a view to answering the following questions:

1. What are the behaviours or activities that drive each one of our KPIs?
This can be quite a rich discussion. There may be many drivers of your KPIs, but your objective here is to identify the clear performance markers that deliver achievement against the KPIs for your team. You must be able to set lower and upper limits for performance. These performance markers must be within the team’s control to achieve. They must have an appropriate timeframe – long enough to be able to manage them, and short enough to have an impact.
Settle on no more than 4 performance markers per KPI. It must not be a shopping list or tracking it will become a burden.

2. Set the lower and upper range of acceptable performance.
The key here is consistency. You do not want people to shoot the lights out on good days and do nothing on bad days (or weeks or months). You want them to do between the low mark and the high mark every day, week or month (or whatever time frame you choose). Using the language of the 20 mile march, you want them to march between 14 and 20 miles every single day, no matter the weather. You do not want them marching 40 miles on one day, then collapsing with exhaustion for the next 2 days, and being unable to go out on the 3rd day because of bad weather. 14 to 20 miles every day.

3. Design a Scoreboard
The team should decide on what the scoreboard should look like. It must be fun to update and use. You should be able to update it as close to real time as possible. It should also connect input measures (the behavioural drivers) with the KPIs. That means you should be able to see how performance against the behavioural drivers actually contributes to performance against the KPI.

I did an internet search using “how to put team metrics on a scoreboard” and came up with some exceptional guidelines.

Your team’s scoreboard may no doubt undergo a few iterations before the team is completely satisfied – and that is fine.

The scoreboard you settle on will meet the following criteria:
  • The team will love how it looks
  • It will be easy to update
  • It will be updatable in as close to real time as possible
  • The team will love updating it and reviewing their progress
  • Individuals will be able to use it to motivate themselves

All of this speaks to the power of instant feedback. The best example of this I have ever seen is in the advertisement for bottled water: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GimoLDYI_JE.

4. Agree on the Rituals and Routines
Rituals and routines are those things that are done regularly and in a disciplined way in order to ensure that you and your team are paying attention to the important issues regularly enough.

Rituals tend to be interpersonal exchanges – meetings; coffee sessions; tele- or videoconferences. Examples of rituals include:
  • The Monday morning meeting (teleconference/videoconference) to discuss priorities for the week;
  • Your daily walk around the office or plant to take the pulse of the team;
  • The team brown bag lunch session held once a month;
  • The weekly scoreboard review;
  • The monthly review of past performance and planning for the coming month.

Routines are activities that take place consistently. Examples of routines include:
  • Checking yesterday’s performance every day before 9.00am and noting down any required follow up;
  • Updating the Scoreboard or Project Tracking Boards;
  • Making your appointments for next week every Thursday afternoon;
  • Updating your activity records after (or during) every customer meeting

The team needs to agree on the appropriate rituals and routines that will keep them on track as both a team and as individuals. What will they do? What will you do? How will the scoreboard be updated? How often will you meet as a team to review progress and troubleshoot any issues? What is your agenda for that meeting?

So think about this:
What will you do with your team in order to reach agreement on the behavioural drivers, the targets for each one, the design of a scoreboard, and rituals and routines to be implemented?

Managing the Rituals and Routines
The Manager of the team us ultimately responsible for ensuring that the team is absolutely consistent in taking the 20 mile march. This means that you need to monitor whether the routines are being observed – is everyone consistently taking the agreed actions and inputting their own information? You also need to ensure that rituals are consistently observed – that the weekly meeting takes place every week at the same time regardless of who may be absent; that the meeting is short, lively and forward moving; that there is agreement on who will lead the meeting when you can’t be there.

It is also important to review the effectiveness of your rituals and routines every so often with your team. Here is a review agenda which you can modify to suit the situation:
  1. What did we set out to achieve?
  2. What did we actually achieve? What did we not achieve? What happened that we did not expect?
  3. What worked?
  4. What did not work?
  5. What are the lessons to be learned?
  6. What do we need to do now?



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The Art of the Review

11/3/2020

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It is so easy to get bogged down in the busyness and stress of life and work and lose sight of how effective and impactful we have been. I'm writing this in November of 2020 - a year that has profoundly impacted everyone. Nothing was as we expected; little was as it seemed; much was completely out of our control. For many it was a brutal year filled with setbacks; for some it was replete with opportunities, but no less brutal.

I have just returned from a most welcome short holiday in the mountains, where I love to walk, take in the sunshine, swim in mountain streams and spend time with loved ones. 
Those hours of walking gave me pause to think about 2020 and to review what happened and how effective I have been. My personal review is not the topic for this article. Believe me! It is a mixed bag! This is more about the art of the review.

I call it art in the same sense as my previous article "The Art of Conversation". A review is also a kind of conversation, even if you are doing a personal review. The best and most flexible process for a review is one I came across in a book called "On Being a Supervisee: Creating Learning Partnerships". The authors, Michael Carroll and Maria C. Gilbert, quote a review process used by the American military called the After Action Review - or AAR. After any military operation, small groups of soldiers gather with their commanders. The basic ground rules are that:
1. Nobody will be penalised in any way for anything they contribute to the discussion;
2. No blame or fault is acceptable.

The discussion has 6 questions:
1. What did we set out to do?
2. What happened?
3. What worked/went well?
4. What didn't work/went badly?
5. What have we learned?
6. What will we do differently next time?

These 6 questions can be used in slightly different wording across a wide range of situations. Here are some examples:

A. Project/Strategic Review
1. What were our goals?
2. What did we achieve? What actually happened?
3. What worked/went well?
4. What didn't?
5. What have we learned?
6. What do we need to do now?

B. Progress Review (on a Project or Strategy)
1. What are we trying to achieve?
2. What is actually happening? What progress have we made?
3. What have we done well?
4. What have we not done well?
5. What lessons must be learned?
6. What do we need to do now (to get things back on track)?

C. Personal Review
1. What were my goals for this year?
2. What have I achieved? (And what have I not achieved?)
3. What did I do well?
4. What did I not do well?
5. What have I learned?
6. What am I going to do now/What are my new goals?

D. Performance Review
No matter what the admin process is around formal performance reviews, the actual conversation is along the same lines:
1. What did you set out to achieve in the last x months?
2. What did you actually do?
3. What went well?
4. What did not go well?
5. What have you learned?
6. What do you want to do now? PLUS And how can I support you?

I have used this process in various contexts many many times and have never failed to be enthused by how inspiring and rewarding it has been for the participants. I love that the questions are asked in a way that does not brook blame or fault. When people know that the purpose of the review is to learn rather than to apportion blame, they are willing to be quite frank about their experiences - and this is how one creates a learning organisation. Simple! Not necessarily easy though.

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​How to Decide What to Track and Monitor – Focus on the Field of Play

10/22/2020

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Every team has what I like to call “vital signs” which the Manager of the team needs to keep an eye on every day. If we use our medical analogy, the nurse checks the vital signs of the patient in order to ascertain if there are any problems that might need attention. If the patient’s blood pressure, temperature or pulse rate are either too high or too low, these are indications that the doctor may need to obtain more information (perhaps in the form of tests) in order to diagnose and treat the problem.

So too does a team have vital signs. These are indicators that the team is doing what it should be doing in order to ensure that it delivers the results by which its performance is measured. The principle is as follows:
If the team does enough of the right things at the right time and in the right way, then it will achieve the results it seeks.

In the book “Great by Choice” (Jim Collins and Morten T. Hansen) – which I highly recommend – the authors talk about the 20 Mile March. We live in an economic environment that is Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous (VUCA), and one of the 3 habits that sets the outstanding performers apart from the businesses who fail or only just survive is that of “Obsessive Discipline”. This means that there is absolute clarity on what must be done in good times and in bad times. Achieving the daily 20 Mile March requires “hitting specific performance markers with great consistency over a long period of time.” These performance markers drive the results that the team is looking for.

Let me give you a really simple example from the world of truck sales to illustrate the point:
You have to see enough customers every day, in order to write enough quotations
every week, in order to sign up enough offers to purchase every month, in order to
deliver enough vehicles in order to achieve your monthly target.

So the vital signs in truck sales are:
  • Customer contacts
  • Quotations
  • Offers to Purchase
  • Deliveries

This means that on at least a weekly basis, a Sales Manager needs to actively monitor what is happening with each Sales Executive in order to know where and how to support them. If your Sales Executives are reaching or exceeding their targets, then they will need little from their Manager other than being available on request and checking in with them in a periodic one-on-one. However, if a Sales Executive is struggling, then looking at their vital signs will give you an indication of what support they need:
  • Are they seeing enough prospects? If not, what will assist them to see more prospective buyers?
  • Are they seeing enough prospects but not writing enough quotations? If so, how are they conducting their contact conversations and what can they do differently to increase the number of quotations they are asked for?
  • Are they seeing enough prospects and submitting enough quotations, but still not getting enough signed Offers to Purchase? In which case, how can they improve their closing skills?
  • And finally, are they getting enough signed Offers to Purchase, but still losing some of these sales? What might be happening that is getting in the way of Offers to Purchase resulting in Deliveries?

Tracking these vital signs closely and often with Sales Executives who are not achieving their targets puts their Sales Manager in a position to do some remedial coaching early on, resulting in greater success – which ultimately impacts on the overall success of the team.

I’ve used a commercial vehicle sales example because it provides really tangible drivers of performance – anyone can identify with these even if they are not in the same field.
​
So think about your own area of the business:
  1. What are the KPIs in your part of the business? These are the Output Goals.
  2. For each KPI, identify the behaviours, actions or targets that comprise the Input Goals – that is, the achievement of the Input Goals is what will deliver the Output goals.
  3. How can you track and monitor the Input Goals? Come up with some tentative ideas for a dashboard that focuses on the Input Goals.
  4. For each of the Input Goals, identify what could be going wrong in the event that those goals are not tracking.
In the next article, I’ll write about how you could get the team on board so that they are excited about a Scoreboard – rather than resistant. You don’t want them to treat any of this as admin! So process is everything.

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Leadership is about conversations - Rules of Engagement

10/15/2020

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Leadership is exercised one conversation at a time. The video speaks more about my views on that. In this article, I share a specific conversation that all leaders should have.
Teams and their leader need to have explicit agreements about how they will work together. The term, Rules of Engagement, was originally a military term outlining the circumstances under which opposing forces might engage with each other. It has been extended to include intimate relationships, and their purpose is to create safety so that difficult topics and conflict can be addressed without fear because both partners agree to adhere to certain rules.
Rules of engagement (ROE) also create psychological safety in a team. The ROE outline how team members will deal with each other and with specific topics, and the purpose is to create clarity. Psychological safety is always prejudiced when team members don't know how things should be handled. It is further prejudiced when they (or the team leader) don't like the way things currently tend to be handled.
When you take on a new leadership role, this is a time for you and the team to discuss and reach agreement on how you will work together. If you were previously a member of the team and now you are the manager of that team, it is also an opportunity to talk frankly about the change to the relationship – “Yesterday I was one of you. Today I am your manager. Let’s talk about what that means.”
Rules of engagement would touch on such topics as:
  • communication: what to communicate, how to communicate, meetings, sharing of information, etc.;
  • decision-making: how decisions should be made, who should be involved, who has the final say, etc.;
  • conflict: what does this team regard as conflict; how to we expect it to be handled; how robustly do we expect to debate issues; how do we intend to resolve conflict; what will we do if we get stuck; what do we share with the team.
This is not an exhaustive list. Furthermore, no matter how comprehensively you think you have covered the discussion, something you didn't think of will come up at a later time. This implies that Rules of Engagement is never a "once and done" discussion. Periodically, you will need to pick up the discussion again in order to find agreement on something new that hadn't been anticipated. Relationships are dynamic, so these topics need to be revisited as circumstances change.
Here is a starter agenda for such a discussion:
  1. Meetings: How often shall we meet? What will we discuss? How will meetings be led and by whom? What preparation is required? What participation is expected? Whose responsibility is it to make sure our meetings stay on track?
  2. What do we believe and expect regarding action items, deliverables and deadlines?
  3. How will we make decisions? Do we favour consensus, majority rule or “managerial edict”?
  4. How will we resolve conflict? At what stage do you want to be involved? What do you want to know about conflict that has been resolved without your input (if anything)?
  5. What are the team’s views and expectations around timekeeping, working from home, taking personal time, leave, after hours contact, etc.?
Experiment with this. You will find it incredibly liberating for both you and the team to have some explicit boundaries that help you navigate some of the more tricky discussions.

The next article will deal with a different type of ROE conversation - that between a manager and a team member to agree on how they individually will work together.


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