Leadership is Exercised One Conversation at a Time
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At any time it seems that there is a particular drum that I am beating – and this is it right now. Leadership is not exercised by email, by edict or by sms. It is exercised in the daily conversations you have with real people. Notice that I refer to “conversations”, not “talking to people”. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a conversation as “an informal talk involving two people or a small group of people; the act of talking in an informal way; an oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas.” The essence of conversation is exchange – it is multi-directional and goes back and forth. So what does conversation have to do with leadership? Let’s look at the fairly simple leadership model that I use, which says that leadership has four pillars: |
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So what does conversation have to do with leadership? Let’s look at the fairly simple leadership model that I use, which says that leadership has four pillars:
Three of these pillars relate to the conversations you have with people – and even Personal Mastery requires that you are willing to receive feedback about yourself, which implies further conversation. None of these pillars is best served by sending out an email, posting something on a noticeboard or berating someone via sms for disappointing performance. It is all about conversation. But what has happened to the art of conversation in the modern workplace?
We have become caught up in the day-to-day busyness of our jobs, and forget that our best thinking is done in conversation with others. It is when we talk things through that we develop our thoughts and get to grips with our challenges. We have come to believe that conversation is not work – so we should do less of it. This is a huge mistake. By limiting our conversations, we are sacrificing quality of thinking on the altar of getting through volumes of work.
Far too much of our communication is via email or sms, and we are remarkably inaccurate at reading the emotional tone of the emails we receive. In fact, according to a study led by Prof. Nicholas Epley (University of Chicago) and Prof. Justin Kruger (New York University) in 2005, we are only right about the tone of an email 56% of the time – although we think we get it right 90% of the time. How much less accurate are we in interpreting the emotional tone of an sms? We make assumptions about what people mean, and what their intentions are, and we get it wrong most of the time! But we act on our assumptions as though they are the truth.
The mark of really good leadership is the extent to which employees at every level in the organisation are truly engaged. Employee engagement is defined as “the emotional connection an employee feels toward his or her employment organization, which tends to influence his or her behaviours and level of effort in work related activities” (www.businessdictionary.com).Think about it for yourself: if you feel truly engaged with your company, you put more effort into your work; you feel mentally stimulated; there is a sense of trust between yourself and your manager, and you can see how your work contributes to the overall performance of the organisation. Furthermore, you see growth opportunities for yourself and feel proud of your association with your company.
Think of the good leaders you have worked for in your life. Did they touch your heart by sending you an email? Did they impress upon you the depth of their concern about some aspect of the business by sending you a strongly worded sms? So why would it be any different for anybody else?
We exercise leadership in our conversations. The person who initiates a conversation with a colleague because she is concerned that they could be working together more effectively is exercising leadership. The executive who spends time with people at every level of the organisation talking to them about their hopes and dreams for the company is exercising leadership. The manager who pulls his team together to discuss and find solutions to an intractable problem is exercising leadership.
So the next time you begin an email to a colleague stop yourself, get out of your chair and go and have a conversation. The next time you think to communicate something important via sms, pick up the telephone. You can always confirm your agreements in writing afterwards, but try making conversation your default communication medium – and see what results.
We have become caught up in the day-to-day busyness of our jobs, and forget that our best thinking is done in conversation with others. It is when we talk things through that we develop our thoughts and get to grips with our challenges. We have come to believe that conversation is not work – so we should do less of it. This is a huge mistake. By limiting our conversations, we are sacrificing quality of thinking on the altar of getting through volumes of work.
Far too much of our communication is via email or sms, and we are remarkably inaccurate at reading the emotional tone of the emails we receive. In fact, according to a study led by Prof. Nicholas Epley (University of Chicago) and Prof. Justin Kruger (New York University) in 2005, we are only right about the tone of an email 56% of the time – although we think we get it right 90% of the time. How much less accurate are we in interpreting the emotional tone of an sms? We make assumptions about what people mean, and what their intentions are, and we get it wrong most of the time! But we act on our assumptions as though they are the truth.
The mark of really good leadership is the extent to which employees at every level in the organisation are truly engaged. Employee engagement is defined as “the emotional connection an employee feels toward his or her employment organization, which tends to influence his or her behaviours and level of effort in work related activities” (www.businessdictionary.com).Think about it for yourself: if you feel truly engaged with your company, you put more effort into your work; you feel mentally stimulated; there is a sense of trust between yourself and your manager, and you can see how your work contributes to the overall performance of the organisation. Furthermore, you see growth opportunities for yourself and feel proud of your association with your company.
Think of the good leaders you have worked for in your life. Did they touch your heart by sending you an email? Did they impress upon you the depth of their concern about some aspect of the business by sending you a strongly worded sms? So why would it be any different for anybody else?
We exercise leadership in our conversations. The person who initiates a conversation with a colleague because she is concerned that they could be working together more effectively is exercising leadership. The executive who spends time with people at every level of the organisation talking to them about their hopes and dreams for the company is exercising leadership. The manager who pulls his team together to discuss and find solutions to an intractable problem is exercising leadership.
So the next time you begin an email to a colleague stop yourself, get out of your chair and go and have a conversation. The next time you think to communicate something important via sms, pick up the telephone. You can always confirm your agreements in writing afterwards, but try making conversation your default communication medium – and see what results.
